I fail to remember sometimes how incredibly luck I am. Honestly, I don't think what I have is ordinary, not by far. I am so blessed, with a man that loves me so, so much and with an amazing son. Ordinary? No. I am still blown away by how amazing Jason is, how much he loves me and how much he does just because. He works to support his family and comes home and is instantly 'daddy,' he takes over Ethan, plays with him and loves on him. It melts my heart. He does most of the cooking, and at least half the cleaning (including the bathrooms!). He takes the time to make me feel special and loved by a special touch, a random hug and kiss and really tunes into me as his wife, not only as the mother of his child.
He affords me the opportunity to be a stay at home mom, and completely supports my life at home with Ethan. We both feel so strongly about the fact that since we have the means for me to be home that it is the most important place for me to be. We'd rather be 'losing' money with me at home then paying someone else to hang out with our son all day, I want to do that. I want to be there for everything for him, and Jason completely supports that and loves it for our family.
What gets me super weepy is when I think of Ethan. I think about what would happen if I suddenly died. He is to young to even remember me, to remember the feeling of a hug and how we would play. He would never know how much I loved him. Things like this, things I cannot control, worry me sick sometimes. These are the reasons I write him letters, so that if something were to happen to me he would have something from me to him, and only him. It also really breaks my heart that with the thousands of pictures I have of him only a hand full (probably less than 20) are of him and I, it's like I don't exist. I'm always behind the camera. I need more ways to let him know how much I love him, there aren't enough ways to tell him how much I love him. I love him.
Thank you for posting this. It made me stop and think.
ReplyDelete:)
Lauren