January 13, 2010
So different
So I was thinking about the different feelings I have with this pregnancy than I did with the previous one (the miscarriage). While I was over the moon to be pregnant last time, I was so worried about Ethan, how would he take it? Would he feel betrayed? Less loved? Those feelings just panged me with pain and guilt. Realistically I knew he would be fine, but I worried so, so much. This time I am so at peace with it, I know there will be a struggle while adjusting (for all of us!), but Im not worrying anymore and it is a wonderful feeling! Im also not in a rush, Im content being 4 weeks pregnant, Im in no hurry. With Ethan I couldn't wait to get to the finish line, this time I want to enjoy every second before we get there. This could be the lat time I am pregnant and I want to relish it and soak it all in. Im enjoying the here and now and it's a good place to be!
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Sandy I'm so happy for you and for the peace that you feel with this pregnancy! Congratulations! Ethan is going to be such a great big brother.
ReplyDeletejen aka jbyoung
This is the wisdom only a mother could know. I was also super rushed to meet Christopher, but now that I look back I wish I wasn't in such a rush. I wish that I would have enjoyed every moment more. Enjoy it Sandy! :)
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