He's here!!

Baby boy was born on September 11 perfect and healthy!  Im working on finishing my birth story now, but wanted to write little about his first few days before it gets to fuzzy.  Here is something I wrote to a friend while in the hospital,

Im jumping on the computer while Jason is putting Ethan down and baby boy is sleeping next to me.  He's still grunting and making noise because of his lungs but overall is doing well.  He's not nursing often at all, just not hungry I guess.  They say that is common for the first 24 hours or so.  He is so beautiful, just like his brother.  Ethan is doing great and has been by twice today to visit, he loves looking at his brother in the bassinet and pointing and telling us, 'baby brother sleeping!'  Though every time we ask him if we're going to take baby brother home he says no, lol. 

I was only in the hospital for about a day and a half, but it was hard.   Jason was amazing in juggling keeping things normal for Ethan and coming and staying with me and being with the baby.  Though when he wasnt there I was lonely and missed him and Ethan terribly.  I really just wanted to go home.  Baby boy slept great that night in the hospital, and just like his brother was he was only up once at night, at 3am to eat and then back to sleep until around eight, it was nice!  

The first night home on the other hand was miserable.  He was up the entire night wanting to nurse about every 15 minutes.  My milk hadn't come in yet and I think he was just plain hungry, not starving, but not comfy enough to sleep.   I was miserable, it hurt so bad and I felt so bad that I just didn't have what he needed.  About 2:30am we broke and Jason went to the store and bought some formula and he took about half an ounce (this is how we know he wasnt starving, he would have taken more if he were) and he slept for about two hours.  Jason passed out cold, I have such a hard time sleeping anyway I barely rested.

The next day my milk came in and Oh My Goodness... my boobs were INSANE.  I have such a huge supply and he's eating so little that they were huge and hard and quite painful.  The best way to describe it is they felt like sand with rocks mixed in, the lumps and ducts were SO hard and tender, just lifting my arms hurt.  I was so afraid of clogged ducts, and potentially developing mastitis from being so engorged.  Right now though (he is 7 days old today) things are much better, there are still hard spots but overall my supply is regulating.  The first few days after it came in I was literally drowning him in milk, while he was nursing milk would come pouring out of his nose  :0(  I'd have to detach him so he could breathe but he wasn't fond of that!  That hasnt happened in about 2 days so I think that is a good sign!  Of course the beginning is incredibly painful and I've had some cracked and bleeding (not bad) nipples, though that is getting better too and I dont feel like crying when I nurse anymore.  Also the cramping while nursing has completely calmed down, for the first few days the cramping while nursing completely took my breath away.  They were something I would totally equate with the contractions I was having around 5cm, they were rough to say the least, thank goodness they didnt hang around more than a couple days! 

He is now sleeping better and if I lay him next to me he has a 5.5 hour stretch of sleep at night which is great, especially for his age.  We're working on getting him to sleep in the bassinet but he just doesnt like it, though every night he's sleeping longer and longer in there before he needs to be picked up.  Last night was a little over 2 hours!  Right now we have an arrangement because even though I doze with him next to me in bed I dont sleep well, Im to paranoid.  So when he wakes up I feed him and Jason takes him into the living room to hold him where he'll sleep a couple more hours being held and I get to get some uninterrupted sleep.  It's not ideal but it is working for now, hopefully he'll sleep in his bassinet for the night soon and we'll all be able to sleep where we belong.  Im really hoping we can get that straightened out a little more before Jason has to go back to work, he is taking 3 weeks off so we have some time. 

In the hospital on the day we were discharged they tested his bili at 9.6 and told us to follow up with our Dr the next day to see if she wanted us to have additional testing, we did and she did want blood tests done.  :0(  My hormones cannot handle them doing that to him, my heart absolutely breaks when he cries and I cry with him.  The numbers came back at 10.9 on 9/13 and we had to do it again the next day to determine if we needed to start treatments, but it went down to 7.5!  We were in the clear!  

We spent our first night in the ER with the baby last night (9/17) because it appeared that his umbilical cord had become infected.  It was bulging flesh and had a foul odor.  When we got there the nurse cleaned it so vigorously that she ripped the rest of the stump off, he was crying so hard.  :0(  They determined that there wasn't an infection and the odor was from something else, just "stuff" I guess.  It was scary though.  Mainly because we were in the ER and I was afraid of him catching something there.  We first went to the pediatric urgent care and they closed early due to high activity.  I cried as a nurse was walking in and got her to take a quick look and she said we should go the the ER, that it didnt seem right, thank goodness it was nothing though.  

Overall we are loving every sleepless moment and can't believe a week has already past since he was born.  It is already going to quickly.  I want to soak in every ounce of his sweet newborn-ness and he's already growing up on me.  Ethan is so amazing and loves being with and seeing his baby brother, he always wants to check on him and see him and know what he is doing and know where he is at.  Jason, I don't even have a word to describe Jason.  He is my everything and I honestly couldn't do this without him.  We are truly the perfect team and he is so attentive to me and the boys.  He is making sure that Ethan is getting all the attention he deserves and doesnt feel left out, he is taking amazing care of me and is the best father in the world to both of them.  He is up in the middle of the night just to be with me and doing everything possible during the day too.  I dread the day he goes back to work, I want him and need him here with me.  It's going to be a hard transition but as overwhelming as it feels to even think about, I know I'll make it through because of him.  

There is so much more I want to say, but I'll save it for another day.