Baby boy now has a name!

Introducing Lance Declan :0) we took a bit longer but we just wanted it to be right.  We finally got there!  Tomorrow we will call it in and make it official! 

He's here!!

Baby boy was born on September 11 perfect and healthy!  Im working on finishing my birth story now, but wanted to write little about his first few days before it gets to fuzzy.  Here is something I wrote to a friend while in the hospital,

Im jumping on the computer while Jason is putting Ethan down and baby boy is sleeping next to me.  He's still grunting and making noise because of his lungs but overall is doing well.  He's not nursing often at all, just not hungry I guess.  They say that is common for the first 24 hours or so.  He is so beautiful, just like his brother.  Ethan is doing great and has been by twice today to visit, he loves looking at his brother in the bassinet and pointing and telling us, 'baby brother sleeping!'  Though every time we ask him if we're going to take baby brother home he says no, lol. 

I was only in the hospital for about a day and a half, but it was hard.   Jason was amazing in juggling keeping things normal for Ethan and coming and staying with me and being with the baby.  Though when he wasnt there I was lonely and missed him and Ethan terribly.  I really just wanted to go home.  Baby boy slept great that night in the hospital, and just like his brother was he was only up once at night, at 3am to eat and then back to sleep until around eight, it was nice!  

The first night home on the other hand was miserable.  He was up the entire night wanting to nurse about every 15 minutes.  My milk hadn't come in yet and I think he was just plain hungry, not starving, but not comfy enough to sleep.   I was miserable, it hurt so bad and I felt so bad that I just didn't have what he needed.  About 2:30am we broke and Jason went to the store and bought some formula and he took about half an ounce (this is how we know he wasnt starving, he would have taken more if he were) and he slept for about two hours.  Jason passed out cold, I have such a hard time sleeping anyway I barely rested.

The next day my milk came in and Oh My Goodness... my boobs were INSANE.  I have such a huge supply and he's eating so little that they were huge and hard and quite painful.  The best way to describe it is they felt like sand with rocks mixed in, the lumps and ducts were SO hard and tender, just lifting my arms hurt.  I was so afraid of clogged ducts, and potentially developing mastitis from being so engorged.  Right now though (he is 7 days old today) things are much better, there are still hard spots but overall my supply is regulating.  The first few days after it came in I was literally drowning him in milk, while he was nursing milk would come pouring out of his nose  :0(  I'd have to detach him so he could breathe but he wasn't fond of that!  That hasnt happened in about 2 days so I think that is a good sign!  Of course the beginning is incredibly painful and I've had some cracked and bleeding (not bad) nipples, though that is getting better too and I dont feel like crying when I nurse anymore.  Also the cramping while nursing has completely calmed down, for the first few days the cramping while nursing completely took my breath away.  They were something I would totally equate with the contractions I was having around 5cm, they were rough to say the least, thank goodness they didnt hang around more than a couple days! 

He is now sleeping better and if I lay him next to me he has a 5.5 hour stretch of sleep at night which is great, especially for his age.  We're working on getting him to sleep in the bassinet but he just doesnt like it, though every night he's sleeping longer and longer in there before he needs to be picked up.  Last night was a little over 2 hours!  Right now we have an arrangement because even though I doze with him next to me in bed I dont sleep well, Im to paranoid.  So when he wakes up I feed him and Jason takes him into the living room to hold him where he'll sleep a couple more hours being held and I get to get some uninterrupted sleep.  It's not ideal but it is working for now, hopefully he'll sleep in his bassinet for the night soon and we'll all be able to sleep where we belong.  Im really hoping we can get that straightened out a little more before Jason has to go back to work, he is taking 3 weeks off so we have some time. 

In the hospital on the day we were discharged they tested his bili at 9.6 and told us to follow up with our Dr the next day to see if she wanted us to have additional testing, we did and she did want blood tests done.  :0(  My hormones cannot handle them doing that to him, my heart absolutely breaks when he cries and I cry with him.  The numbers came back at 10.9 on 9/13 and we had to do it again the next day to determine if we needed to start treatments, but it went down to 7.5!  We were in the clear!  

We spent our first night in the ER with the baby last night (9/17) because it appeared that his umbilical cord had become infected.  It was bulging flesh and had a foul odor.  When we got there the nurse cleaned it so vigorously that she ripped the rest of the stump off, he was crying so hard.  :0(  They determined that there wasn't an infection and the odor was from something else, just "stuff" I guess.  It was scary though.  Mainly because we were in the ER and I was afraid of him catching something there.  We first went to the pediatric urgent care and they closed early due to high activity.  I cried as a nurse was walking in and got her to take a quick look and she said we should go the the ER, that it didnt seem right, thank goodness it was nothing though.  

Overall we are loving every sleepless moment and can't believe a week has already past since he was born.  It is already going to quickly.  I want to soak in every ounce of his sweet newborn-ness and he's already growing up on me.  Ethan is so amazing and loves being with and seeing his baby brother, he always wants to check on him and see him and know what he is doing and know where he is at.  Jason, I don't even have a word to describe Jason.  He is my everything and I honestly couldn't do this without him.  We are truly the perfect team and he is so attentive to me and the boys.  He is making sure that Ethan is getting all the attention he deserves and doesnt feel left out, he is taking amazing care of me and is the best father in the world to both of them.  He is up in the middle of the night just to be with me and doing everything possible during the day too.  I dread the day he goes back to work, I want him and need him here with me.  It's going to be a hard transition but as overwhelming as it feels to even think about, I know I'll make it through because of him.  

There is so much more I want to say, but I'll save it for another day.  

Progress

Nope, not in the nursery, haha, that is still empty.  As of yesterday I'm 2cm, 75% effaced and "super stretchy and soft" I had Ethan at 38w 5d and at my 38 week appt with him those were my exact stats!  Crazy, eh??  So we'll see, maybe we'll have a baby soon! 

And a picture, yesterday at 38 weeks-

I really wish

our baby had a name, LOL!  That's all for now... ;0)

The best laid plans...

sometimes actually work out!  Shocking right??  At the beginning of this pregnancy I vowed to try to really enjoy the here and now and not just look forward to the next step all the time.  I think I have really done that, I have truly enjoyed this pregnancy and here I am at 37 weeks and not ready for it to end.  I want to hold him on the inside longer, feel him move and keep him safe with me.  I'm sure it helps that I'm not super uncomfortable, haven't gained much weight (+9 lbs) and am in general feeling really good, but I'd also like to think that the way I'm feeling has a little to do with my attitude towards the end of all this.  I'm okay if he's late, I'm in no hurry, he can come when he's ready.  It's just so bittersweet, I don't want it to end.  Though with that end is a new beginning and oh, the possibilities!!     

My poor little man

Ethan caught something from the neighbor (dont even get me started on that) about a week ago and he got sick.  Super runny nose and a little coughing/sneezing, but nothing to bad.  Yesterday when he got up he had a 102 fever, so I thought it was just something that came with the little cold he had and gave him something to bring down his temp.  After his nap I took his temp again and it was 103.5 but he was acting totally normal so I didnt medicate him and decided to let the fever fight whatever was going on since Ethan wasnt bothered by it.  After a few hours he was feeling warmer and starting to slow down, so I took it again and it was 105.  Off to the pediatric urgent care we went.  When we got there the nurse took his temp in the arm pit and got 100.5, I said I wanted rectal and she looked at me like I was a paranoid mom and kind of rolled her eyes and said we'd do it later. I had them do it when we got a room (about 10 minutes later) and his temp was 105.5, I hate under arm temps! They are never accurate for Ethan!  Turns out he has a bad bilateral ear infection and strep.  The ear infections are from all the drainage from his cold most likely and he picked up strep because his immune system was depressed from fighting the EI's.  Poor little guy!  He wanted to go home so bad when we were there last night and kept crying 'bye, bye' cause he wanted to leave.  His temp today is keeping around 103, almost 104.  They said he should be feeling better and the fever should stay down around 24 hours after starting the antibiotic which was at 11 last night.  He's not eating anything but he is drinking a fair amount so that is good.  I hope he starts feeling better soon, I hate seeing him sick and feeling crumby.  :0(

Finally accomplishing something!

The nursery painting is done!  The tape still needs to be pulled and touch-ups need to be done, but the majority is finished!  

I was having some decent contractions this morning that if they continued another 30 minutes or so I was going to go to the hospital.  Since Im 35 weeks today (my ticker is 2 days behind) they wouldnt stop my labor.   That got me thinking that I havent cleaned anything up from Ethan for this baby!  So that is what I did today, cleaned the carseat and all its infant inserts (omg, they are so small!), the pack-n-play with its bassinet and floor mat, (which had stains all over it because Ethan is/was a drool monster) and next Im doing the swing fabric.  I also have all the NB and 0-3 clothes in the dryer right now.  Im going to fold them into a big bin and if we move they will be packed and ready to go and if not then at least they have a place to be until we get the closet organizer in and I can put things away in his room.  I just hate doing all this not knowing if we're moving to another state in a few weeks... this week needs to be over so we can get some answers already.  Im sure Im forgetting something too, I just all of a sudden have this strong urge to be more ready that we are right now.  I'll have Jason put the base in the car soon and I'll start getting my bag together sometime this week hopefully.  Then maybe I won't feel so behind.

33 weeks and...

I just cleared the nursery tonight and got half the taping done. I am SO behind.  We are going out of town to visit Jason's parents and getting maternity/family photos done this weekend, so hopefully paint will be up in less than a week.  We are not even close to having everything bought and even farther from ready in general.

Wanna know the cherry on top??  :0)  Jason is on his third interview for a job in Denver, this is going to be the in-person one and he's leaving for it in about two weeks.  If he gets the job we'll be moving when Im around 38 weeks... I had Ethan at 38 weeks.  So this could be fun!  Cross you fingers for him though!  We both really want this.  (Just not the best timing is all.)

Ultrasound Update

So apparently Im growing a bobble head baby. His head is in the 93 percentile, and his femur in the 80th. He's measuring 4 pounds 9 ounces already. Overall he is measuring about 2 weeks ahead, but my belly measurements are still behind... soo... I dont know what that's about. He's just laying strange I guess.
I wasnt scared/worried about L&D until today... this is going to hurt.

Growth ultrasound today

Baby boy was measuring behind at my last appointment so we have a growth ultrasound today.  I really hope everything is okay.  Im also super excited to see him again!  Ive never had a third trimester ultrasound, hope we get some cute pictures of his little face!

29 weeks

Here I am today at 29 weeks-

 

And here is 29 weeks with Ethan-

Not a huge difference though I definitely carried Ethan higher!  Can't believe how close it is getting!  :0)

The reason I wake up in the morning

We went to the park last night with Ethan, he loved running around and picking the clover!  He tried blowing on all of them and having us blow on them too.  :0) 

This little (can I still call him little?) boy is my world, and his daddy is my rock.  Enjoy the pictures! 

PEE PEE POTTY!!

This is what Ethan yells at me every. five. minutes. for the last few days. Im testing the waters on potty training and letting him take the lead, he's still never gone in the potty so Im pretty sure he has no idea what he is talking about.
But he knows if he says pee pee or potty, or any derivative of those words we'll stop what we're doing and go put him on the pot. I started to let him 'read' there to make him stay longer to increase the chances of something happening, I think something needs to 'happen' accidentally for him to get what the potty is actually for. So now he just wants to go in there and read and I end up sitting on the floor for 20 minutes while he sits there laughing talking about peacocks and their "shiny" tails. When I get him up he has a big red ring around his tush, lol. PLEASE let the kid actually pee soon!!

These were taken today before my Dr. appointment.  :0)  Everything went well, baby's heart rate is 140 bpm and I didnt gain anything since my last appointment so overall Im up 3 pounds, lol. Got a little 'make sure your eating' talk, but she said herself I just don't seem to gain much weight when pregnant. Anyway, I told her about my contractions and leaking fluid so she did a check (I didnt figure anything was wrong) and everything is the way it is suppose to be so who knows whats going on, but whatever it is it isnt changing internally so that is good!
  Appointments every two weeks now, and since we live an hour away and got a new (bigger) car we're going to to going through a lot more gas.  *sigh* Oh well!

One of those days...

Right after I turned 21 (which is also right after I got engaged) my dad died unexpectedly. I was on a cruise getting engaged and he was dying and I didnt know. By the time we docked and I found out he was in a coma and I never got to tell him I said yes (DH asked him for my hand a few weeks prior) and I never got to say goodbye.

Some days Im okay with all this and other days, like today, Im SO angry. It'll be 4 years this month and I am still so angry/sad about it. Time really does help and is really the only thing that has helped ease the pain, but I miss him. So much. I wish he could have walked me down the aisle, and I SO wish he could have met his grandson's and gotten to know DH better. He would have been such an awesome grandpa and I feel like we got totally cheated. I guess there is no point to this post but to just say that today, Im really, really missing my dad.