Love

My wonderful husband bought me a doppler and it came in yesterday and we heard the baby's heartbeat for the first time outside of an ultrasound. It is the most amazing sound ever!! The first time I tried it I couldn't find anything, which worried me a little because the intensity of my symptoms has gone away since I was sick and had the fevers. That worry is what prompted Jason to buy the doppler in the first place, he wanted some kind of way to check on the baby. Anyway, then Jason asked if he could try and he found the heartbeat! It was so relaxing, like a huge brick lifted off my chest. Our baby has a heartbeat, what more could you ask for??

Videos!

I don't share Ethan enough on here! :0) He is the light of my life, but when I point the camera at him and he notices he goes rather blank, lol, you'll notice I'm sure! I wish I could get his true crazy on video, but no such luck yet! Enjoy anyway! Ohhh and excuse my house, this is what it looks like at the end of the day with the crazy toy tornado that is Ethan.

First up, here's my little champ doing his breathing treatment, after only a day and a half he got used to it and doesn't really mind anymore! YAY!! No more screaming bloody murder, it is wonderful. He normally is playing a ton more, buuuut since the camera is on he's a little shy.



Here is one of the calmest bathes he's ever taken, he was so tranquil looking and just, well, calm that I had to record him.



And lastly, Ethan "riding" his lion. He just stands over it and runs, LOL. This was right before bedtime so he's dressed in his footie and has his binky. (normally only has it at bedtime, but we give it to him for his treatment which was right before this)

Wonderful!

I had my 10 week appointment last week, my Dr is positive I had H1N1 a few weeks ago! Craziness! I absolutely felt AWFUL, so that explains a little. She also couldn't find a heartbeat, before she even tried she said it was early and common not to hear it at this point, but I was hopeful. Well, we heard nothing, which stinks!

On the more exciting side we scheduled my NT scan! March 8th! Can't wait to see the little bean in there. I remember Ethan's NT scan, it was amazing, he was so formed already I just fell more in love with him that day. <3

New happenings

Is happenings a word?? Meh, if not you know what I mean. ;0)
Ethan had a Dr appointment yesterday just to do a little checkup since he's been getting sick so often lately. Two things, one- they think he is allergic to milk. Great. All the kid eats is dairy, cutting it all out is going to starve him to death and he's such a picky eater lately. I honestly don't know what we are going to do. Hopefully he likes soy products, we're going to pick some up today and give it a shot, wish us luck! Two- he has asthma. Double great! He needs breathing treatments 2-3 times a day, we did the first one last night, you'd think we were trying to kill the kid. He was screaming SO MUCH. I dont think he even got half the meds. We have to do this for a month and see if his breathing and wheezing gets better. This blows. Seriously.

On a more positive note, this weekend we are going to work on landscaping our front yard!! We are hoping to ultimately have some grass out there and a patio so we can have dinner outside and Ethan can play without the risk of dog crap. Right now the yard isn't "bad" but it's not kid friendly. It's all rocks and weird bushes. Stupid desert.

Annd!! Here is my first belly picture! :0) I know you all have been looking forward to this! LOL 10 weeks and getting squishy! Yay! Baby is the size of a plum this week. Ohhh, and I have an appt today, hopefully we hear a heartbeat on the doppler. Im a little nervous since I was sick for two weeks and my temp went over the "fatal to an embryo" mark several times. I got it down with Tylenol, but still, Im nervous.

What a miserable day

Today was Ethan's appointment to have his tooth fixed, it needed to be filled and molded to protect the nerve from where he chipped it. The appointment was an hour away, at 9am. He was to be sedated so he couldn't have anything to eat or drink after midnight. The morning went surprisingly well, he didnt cry or fuss even though he didn't get breakfast. We got there and they gave him the sedative and we waited for about 10 minutes, he got pretty dang loopy, he kept telling all the nurses "hi" and calling everything a doggie, it was a little funny, he just looked so stoned. Well they got him in the room and he was still fine, but the nurse said they needed to give him nitrous oxide also, so in the chair he went. For that we had to hold him down, after about five minutes he was done with that and frustrated and didn't like being held down. The Dr took another 10 minutes to come in and by that time after holding him done for the nitrous Ethan was done. He screamed, and screamed, and scrrreeeeaaaammmmedddd through the whole procedure and about made both Jason and I cry. The look in his eyes was so heartbreaking and the constant tears really tore me up.
After this, we had to go to the hospital to have his blood drawn, I was hoping that because of the sedative from the dentist, this would go okay. Nope. They strangulated each arm several times, couldn't really find a vein and after five minutes of poking and screaming, they gave up... so we get to go do that again sometime. :0(
Then we decide that he's got to be hungry, its about 12 and he hasn't eaten anything since dinner last night so we go to IHOP because he loves pancakes. He wouldn't touch them and cried/fussed the whole time. (He's NEVER like this) so we get on the road home and got not even half way there and he starts vomiting again, and again, and again in the backseat. I was out of my seat belt and into the back seat before Jason could even get the car pulled over. Once we did what we could, which isn't much, we continue home.
We get here and he is miserable, crying on the floor refusing to be held. We looked up some of the side effects of the drug they used and a lot of places said it feels like you've been punched in the stomach repeatedly. He was laying on the floor face down, crying hysterically into the carpet with his butt in the air pacing from side to side, you could just tell he was in so much pain and we couldn't do anything about it.
To top it off we forgot we scheduled to have our air ducts cleaned today and they showed up 20 minutes after we got home and needed access to the entire house, all the while Ethan is wailing in the living room with Jason and I. I think the air duct dudes were a little nervous! LOL
After all this, he finally calmed down and ate a few crackers around 4, my poor little man is so, so tired. I hope he gets some sleep tonight, I hope we all do!

Disgusting

Prune juice. 'Nuff said.

My husband

is the sweetest man. I honestly don't know what I would do without him. Yesterday he brought home a dozen red roses in celebration of us hearing/seeing our baby's heartbeat. He is just so thoughtful and I love him so, so much. He does everything in his power to make sure I am as comfortable as possible, and he always feels so bad when Im not feeling well. (which is 24/7 these days) He's my angel, there's no doubt.

Majority Rules!

ONE perfectly healthy little baby!! She found the baby several times, but there was no heartbeat to be seen, I started welling up crying already when I still saw nothing, but finally she got the heartbeat to show up on the screen and then I cried more. LOL Damn these hormones! 146 bpm! We are so relived and Jason is so happy it's just one, haha. Thank you all for the thoughts and prayers!
My due date is also moved up a few days, so that's a nice perk too! ;0)

Oye.

I feel like a pile of steaming dog poo. I felt this way with Ethan too, and it didnt go away by the second trimester, but weeks after. Like around 20 weeks, belch. Even though I feel like crap Im not wishing time forward, just wishing this feeling of puke-constantly-in-my-throat to go away. That would be nice! It is making me feel like a bad mom because all I want to do is lay down and all E wants to do is run, and play and be crazy. We're making it work, but not without effort. Go away pukey chest, go away! And while Im wishing, I would like it to be Monday. I want to know there is a healthy heartbeat in there, I NEED to know everything is progressing the way it should, the way it didn't last time. Finding out how many are in there is just a bonus.

Jason almost killed me yesterday

with his words. :0| Me being, well... me, I starting thinking about the possibilities if it were twins. I was telling Jason that if it were twins there would probably be a good chance of bed rest toward the end, and if that happened what about Ethan? I said I could handle the morning and 'do' as little as needed and then he is usually home by 3 or so and he could take over from there. (Ethan goes down for a nap around 11:30 and wakes around 2:30-3) Jason said no, if I were on bed rest he'd want me to do just that, REST. He was sure his mom could come up and say with us as long as needed. .::dies::. No, no, no. NO. That would not be restful, or helpful, the woman drives me bonkers after about 3 hours in the house. Oye. Pray for no bed rest, twins or not!

Added a poll

Just for fun! :0) I should get my second betas back tomorrow too, Im excited about that! Hopefully another indication that everything is progressing normally!

I'm back :0)

There was no heartbeat, but it is still early for that. I guess it starts beating between 5w 5d and 6w 2d, so she said probably in the next 24-72 hours the heart should start to beat. She had a really hard time seeing anything, after probing for a while she finally saw a yolk sac, so she was confident that the baby was in my uterus, so that is great! Though really, she couldn't get a good view because my uterus is so tilted and my bowel was in the way. (she kept knocking me in the stomach trying to move things around, which at the very end worked just enough that she was fairly sure she saw a yolk sac.) She said at one point she thought she saw two sacs (twins!) but she doesn't know. LOL So I need another u/s at some point, maybe next week. My midwife is suppose to be calling me back with my betas from yesterday, and that's where we're at! So, so far so good! Thank goodness!!

UPDATE: Just talked to my midwife and we scheduled another u/s for Feb 1st to look for a heart beat and do a final head count! Haha Also my beta yesterday was 8981 and here is American Pregnancy's chart for the numbers-

• 5 weeks LMP: 18 - 7,340 mIU/ml
• 6 weeks LMP: 1,080 - 56,500 mIU/ml

So in the normal range!

She's a little worried about it being an ectopic pregnancy, so I have an ultrasound tomorrow morning at 9am. I had bloodwork done today for everything then have to go back again for just the beta on Friday or Saturday. So we'll see what happens. She said most likely we wont see a heartbeat tomorrow, but they are just looking for location right now, but I would most likely have another u/s early next week looking for the heartbeat specifically. Im trying not to worry, we'll know more in the morning.

I other news Ethan got his first hair cut today! He looks like such a big boy. :0(

Today is my first appt!

Typically boring, I know, but I'm still excited yet quite nervous at the same time. I had scant bleeding on Monday and HORRIBLE cramping Saturday. Im talking stop what your doing, doubled over, can't breathe, cramping. I'm hoping with that, the previous m/c that my body didn't catch and with how long we'd been trying she'll order an u/s. I just need to know everything is on track, that we'll looking good for this point in the game. I hope we can get some sort of re-assurance, that would be so nice.
After the appt we are planning to take Ethan to the Aquarium, he loves it there and we havent taken him in a while. My appt is at 3:30 and the aquarium closes at 5, so I hope we can make it! I'll update when I can! :0)

So different

So I was thinking about the different feelings I have with this pregnancy than I did with the previous one (the miscarriage). While I was over the moon to be pregnant last time, I was so worried about Ethan, how would he take it? Would he feel betrayed? Less loved? Those feelings just panged me with pain and guilt. Realistically I knew he would be fine, but I worried so, so much. This time I am so at peace with it, I know there will be a struggle while adjusting (for all of us!), but Im not worrying anymore and it is a wonderful feeling! Im also not in a rush, Im content being 4 weeks pregnant, Im in no hurry. With Ethan I couldn't wait to get to the finish line, this time I want to enjoy every second before we get there. This could be the lat time I am pregnant and I want to relish it and soak it all in. Im enjoying the here and now and it's a good place to be!