I think, (if I can remember!) that I am going to POAS tomorrow. Ive been meaning too but when I get up (or get woken up, as Ethan likes it!) my first thought is to pee then run to Ethan and I keep forgetting the whole stick part of the process! Ha! Horrible I know! So besides the fact that I am late, which by itself doesn't worry me much, Ive never been a regular girl but there are several other things that make me and Jason wonder. Though the chances are slim to none (I have an IUD) but if I am pregnant I need to get that thing out ASAP.
If I were done with school this would be perfect timing! I want my kids close together, but since I still have some school left I just need to finish that part of my life so I can move on from this stage. So yeah, there it is! Chances are I'm not, but that doesn't make me any less nervous! If there is even a question about it I want to know to be sure everything is okay! Wish me luck! Either way I'll be happy, which is a nice place to be!
"The best thing about the future is it comes one day at a time."
April 9, 2009
Biggest Loser!
Yup! That's me! Before I got pregnant I was a size 4 some brands a size 5. With Ethan I gained 13 pounds and was all belly!
(2 days before I delivered)
I lost all that "baby weight" while still at the hospital, and within the first week 25 pounds were gone. From there I have been steadily losing weight and am now 35 pounds below my pre-pregnancy weight, my size 2's fall off with a slight tug, so I guess I'm currently a size 0! So strange! Now while this may seem like the most awesome thing ever it actually worries me. I went to my midwife and brought up my concerns and now have orders to have my thyroid checked to be sure I don't have postpartum hypo-thyroid, hopefully not the case!
I attribute a lot of this to breastfeeding, although it may not seem like it, making milk is hard work! Now that Ethan is nursing a little less often my weight loss has tapered off, which is good. I just can't believe how many calories are burned sitting and do nothing but lactating, it's so amazing.
Here's a picture of my little milk monster a few days after he was born. I exclusively pumped for him until he was 9 weeks old, he had some serious latch issues and couldn't nurse until that point. After that victory was a few weeks of working on it and perfecting everything, now he's exclusively breastfed, with the exception of one bottle of EP'd milk Jason feeds him! (Even though it totally sucked to pump, it was so helpful for DH to be able to feed him as well during those first few weeks!)
I'm just so excited to feel back to normal! With the exception of the occasional aches and pains from lugging a growing baby around all the time I feel great! It's amazing how much your body can go through and how much it can change and bounce back all within one year! I'm in total awe, women are amazing!
(2 days before I delivered)
I lost all that "baby weight" while still at the hospital, and within the first week 25 pounds were gone. From there I have been steadily losing weight and am now 35 pounds below my pre-pregnancy weight, my size 2's fall off with a slight tug, so I guess I'm currently a size 0! So strange! Now while this may seem like the most awesome thing ever it actually worries me. I went to my midwife and brought up my concerns and now have orders to have my thyroid checked to be sure I don't have postpartum hypo-thyroid, hopefully not the case!
I attribute a lot of this to breastfeeding, although it may not seem like it, making milk is hard work! Now that Ethan is nursing a little less often my weight loss has tapered off, which is good. I just can't believe how many calories are burned sitting and do nothing but lactating, it's so amazing.
Here's a picture of my little milk monster a few days after he was born. I exclusively pumped for him until he was 9 weeks old, he had some serious latch issues and couldn't nurse until that point. After that victory was a few weeks of working on it and perfecting everything, now he's exclusively breastfed, with the exception of one bottle of EP'd milk Jason feeds him! (Even though it totally sucked to pump, it was so helpful for DH to be able to feed him as well during those first few weeks!)
I'm just so excited to feel back to normal! With the exception of the occasional aches and pains from lugging a growing baby around all the time I feel great! It's amazing how much your body can go through and how much it can change and bounce back all within one year! I'm in total awe, women are amazing!
"Don't be afraid to be amazing."
My Other Half
There are two people that complete me; one is short and bald, the other tall and handsome. This is about the tall and handsome one, my very best friend, my husband Jason. I could never have imagined a more wonderful, supportive and respectful partner, furthermore, it was beyond anything I ever thought possible to have my baby have such an amazing father!
(Right after he proposed!)
Jason is absolutely amazing. He cooks most of the meals, does almost all of the grocery shopping, cleans, does dishes, vacuums, shampoo's the carpet (which makes me laugh!), and about a million other things! When he gets home from work, he scoops Ethan up from me and they have some Daddy/son time. He takes him to do whatever it is that he needs to do to give me a break, most of the time though I go looking for them and they are both snuggled up and passed out on the couch or on the bed!
He changes all the diapers when he is home, and not because I ask him too either, he just loves caring for his son. It's hilarious when it's a poopy diaper and he's coughing and gagging the whole time and still not complaining! He's done every single night feeding since Ethan came home from the hospital, I have not gotten up even once to do a night feeding! I pump milk for him and he feeds from a bottle. Though we do have it pretty good, when E came home from the hospital he only got up once a night around 3am and starting at about 2 months old or so he started sleeping through the night, now he sleeps 10 hours a night. Now Jason wakes him at 5 before he goes to work to feed him to give me some more rest, Ethan is up for the day around 8:30-9:00. I'm so increadibly lucky and blessed!
I cannot say enough about him! He brings me flowers for no reason, rubs my back, plans movie nights and loves me and Ethan unconditionally. I cannot imagine being more in love, he is my everything! I could go on and on, but what it all comes down to is I love him so much and I cannot imagine a more perfect life with a more perfect man!
(Right after he proposed!)
Jason is absolutely amazing. He cooks most of the meals, does almost all of the grocery shopping, cleans, does dishes, vacuums, shampoo's the carpet (which makes me laugh!), and about a million other things! When he gets home from work, he scoops Ethan up from me and they have some Daddy/son time. He takes him to do whatever it is that he needs to do to give me a break, most of the time though I go looking for them and they are both snuggled up and passed out on the couch or on the bed!
He changes all the diapers when he is home, and not because I ask him too either, he just loves caring for his son. It's hilarious when it's a poopy diaper and he's coughing and gagging the whole time and still not complaining! He's done every single night feeding since Ethan came home from the hospital, I have not gotten up even once to do a night feeding! I pump milk for him and he feeds from a bottle. Though we do have it pretty good, when E came home from the hospital he only got up once a night around 3am and starting at about 2 months old or so he started sleeping through the night, now he sleeps 10 hours a night. Now Jason wakes him at 5 before he goes to work to feed him to give me some more rest, Ethan is up for the day around 8:30-9:00. I'm so increadibly lucky and blessed!
I cannot say enough about him! He brings me flowers for no reason, rubs my back, plans movie nights and loves me and Ethan unconditionally. I cannot imagine being more in love, he is my everything! I could go on and on, but what it all comes down to is I love him so much and I cannot imagine a more perfect life with a more perfect man!
- If you have love, you don't need to have anything else, and if you don't have it, it doesn't matter much what else you have.Sir James M. Barrie
Still Here!
Nope! I didn't fall off the blogging radar again, it's just all is quiet on the home front right now! Nothing new to report or show off! So I'll leave you with a few new pictures of Ethan, I'm sure I'll have something new to share soon! (Hopefully I'll get word about my nursing application soon!)
"We find delight in the beauty and happiness of children that makes the heart too big for the body."
Ralph Waldo Emerson
Ralph Waldo Emerson
Happy 5 Month Birthday Ethan!!
My baby is FIVE months old! How the heck did that happen?! It doesn't seem that long ago I was in the hospital push his little cute butt out... Wow! He's more gorgeous, more precious, more everything with every day that passes! I'm just so in love with him that sometimes it catches me off guard, everyday he effortlessly makes me love him more. Sometimes when he is sleeping or in the car seat when we're going somewhere, I get the sudden urge to just hold him. My arms and heart ache to just be next to him, it physically hurts. (I don't wake him, or take him out of the seat, but I soo want too!!)
When we took our 5 month pictures today it was near bedtime and he just wasn't in his usual uber smiley mood, so we got serious photos. Or more so the expression of "I don't give a rat's behind" about my 5 month pictures, I'm going to stare at this stupid bear the whole time... which he pretty much did! There was hardly any distracting him from staring so intently at that dang bear, though daddy did try! (We did get some while he paused from looking at him teddy)
You're boring me, I think I'll just sit here and eat my shirt!
I love you more, noo I love you more!! Aww Teddy!!
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Here are a few pictures from the trip we recently took to Santa Fe! We walked around the Plaza had some dinner and some ice cream! It was such a nice and relaxing time!
This picture just cracks me up! The look of Ethan's face is so funny! Like I just told him a not so funny joke, but he's trying to laugh anyway! Love it!
He thought it was so great and interesting to be able to sit in a tree! He was looking everywhere and kept feeling the bark.
Kisses for my beautiful baby boy who is growing up waay to fast!
FIVE MONTHS OLD!
When we took our 5 month pictures today it was near bedtime and he just wasn't in his usual uber smiley mood, so we got serious photos. Or more so the expression of "I don't give a rat's behind" about my 5 month pictures, I'm going to stare at this stupid bear the whole time... which he pretty much did! There was hardly any distracting him from staring so intently at that dang bear, though daddy did try! (We did get some while he paused from looking at him teddy)
You're boring me, I think I'll just sit here and eat my shirt!
I love you more, noo I love you more!! Aww Teddy!!
**Behind the Scenes**
This was Jason behind me trying to get Ethan to look up and smile, he was jumping around making tons of noise. When I turned around he had the dog on his head! Ha!
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Here are a few pictures from the trip we recently took to Santa Fe! We walked around the Plaza had some dinner and some ice cream! It was such a nice and relaxing time!
This picture just cracks me up! The look of Ethan's face is so funny! Like I just told him a not so funny joke, but he's trying to laugh anyway! Love it!
He thought it was so great and interesting to be able to sit in a tree! He was looking everywhere and kept feeling the bark.
Kisses for my beautiful baby boy who is growing up waay to fast!
FIVE MONTHS OLD!
Sick Baby, Again.
Ethan got sick again. Pretty much the same as last time, though this time he vomited 12 or more times and after each episode he screamed like he was in pain. Last time he laughed and giggled in between. It's so scary and heartbreaking to not know what is wrong with your precious baby.
Once he started to throw up bile he screamed even worse. At this point I got into the bath with him hoping the warm water would help to relax him and make him feel a little better. Also I wanted to be able to get it off him as quickly as possible in case the bile stung his skin. This is where it got scary. He stopped breathing. Several times. He would throw up, scream, then stop breathing. His eyes would roll back into his head, his body would go limp and his head would fall, I had to shake and yell at him to get him to breathe again. Freaked me out.
We called the Dr and he told us to bring him in. So off we went, taking our precious baby boy to the hospital. I sat in the back seat with him the entire drive to be sure that he didn't throw up on himself and we not know, but more importantly it kept my fingers tucked in under his car seat straps so I could feel him breath the entire time, I was so afraid he would stop breathing again . He fell asleep in car and by the time we got there (45 minutes later) he was feeling much better, which of course didn't help the Dr diagnose what was going on. They couldn't find any explanation for him getting sick again. He also said it was likely to happen again. Great.
So there you have it, our baby keeps having random vomiting episodes and we have no idea why. I hope something breaks soon, I can't bare to have him go through that again.
Once he started to throw up bile he screamed even worse. At this point I got into the bath with him hoping the warm water would help to relax him and make him feel a little better. Also I wanted to be able to get it off him as quickly as possible in case the bile stung his skin. This is where it got scary. He stopped breathing. Several times. He would throw up, scream, then stop breathing. His eyes would roll back into his head, his body would go limp and his head would fall, I had to shake and yell at him to get him to breathe again. Freaked me out.
We called the Dr and he told us to bring him in. So off we went, taking our precious baby boy to the hospital. I sat in the back seat with him the entire drive to be sure that he didn't throw up on himself and we not know, but more importantly it kept my fingers tucked in under his car seat straps so I could feel him breath the entire time, I was so afraid he would stop breathing again . He fell asleep in car and by the time we got there (45 minutes later) he was feeling much better, which of course didn't help the Dr diagnose what was going on. They couldn't find any explanation for him getting sick again. He also said it was likely to happen again. Great.
So there you have it, our baby keeps having random vomiting episodes and we have no idea why. I hope something breaks soon, I can't bare to have him go through that again.
While we try to teach our children all about life,
Our children teach us what life is all about.
Our children teach us what life is all about.
Just call me Betty!
Crocker that is! I made my first two batches of baby food! I love knowing that my baby is getting the absolute best, and knowing exactly what's in it, because I made it! Go me! :0) On to the specifics, peeling apples is a PITA! Just sayin'. I think I might need a new peeler, mine is a dud. That's what I get for paying $2 for it! Or maybe it's the operator, only time will tell! (My guess is the latter though!)
Process: Peel, core, cube, cook, puree and store! So Easy! The squash was even easier! Bake, scoop, puree and store! I don't understand why more people don't do this, especially when the reason they dont is "time." It take so little time and then makes 2-4 weeks worth of food!
It even makes your freezer more colorful! Ha! So why not try it out?!
In other news: ETHAN HELD HIS BOTTLE BY HIMSELF TODAY!! WOOT! GO E!!
He was enjoying some apple juice when wham! He was holding it! I was so stinkin' excited I think he thought I lost my mind!
I'm so proud of my baby!!
Process: Peel, core, cube, cook, puree and store! So Easy! The squash was even easier! Bake, scoop, puree and store! I don't understand why more people don't do this, especially when the reason they dont is "time." It take so little time and then makes 2-4 weeks worth of food!
It even makes your freezer more colorful! Ha! So why not try it out?!
In other news: ETHAN HELD HIS BOTTLE BY HIMSELF TODAY!! WOOT! GO E!!
He was enjoying some apple juice when wham! He was holding it! I was so stinkin' excited I think he thought I lost my mind!
I'm so proud of my baby!!
A baby has a special way of adding joy in every single day.
Aquarium and Botanical Gardens
Jason and I decided that we were tired of being in the house and that Ethan might enjoy going out for a while so we packed everything up and headed for the BioParks! First we went to the aquarium where Ethan and I posed in front of the stingrays!
Then we went into the water tunnel where Ethan went swimming with some crazy fish and almost got eaten!
Then we headed into the tunnel that is an aquarium all around you, the fish and eels (EWW!) were all around us! We couldn't get Ethan to stop looking at the fish long enough to even take a picture! He seemed to love it!
After we finished walking through the aquarium which Ethan stayed awake for the entire time (woot!) we went and had lunch at the Shark Cafe. A full wall in the restaurant was a huge aquarium, it was super relaxing!
(On the walk to the park)
Afterward it was time for Ethan to eat and I did something I've never done before, I nursed in public! I am a very private person so feeding Ethan in public was so hard for me to even think about doing. I have to admit, there were a few times I did try but Ethan completely flipped his lid and had a complete melt-down each time. He didn't like the Hooter-Hider over his head but the worst part was how I'd hold him. I didn't know how! I'm so used to using my Boppy pillow so he lays there perfectly, so trying to hold him up was exhausting for my arm, then wrestling with the Hooter-Hider trying to make sure no one can see anything, then 'aiming' Ethan... we both got way to frustrated! This time we were in a huge park and we went to a pritave place under a tree then I laid the diaper bag in my lap and him across the top of it, I also had Jason to help with blocking the view! It went beautifully!! Here are some park pictures!
Today was many first's for little E... aquarium, botanical gardens, wearing real shoes!! He wanted to show them off for everyone!!
Our baby just loves to have fun! WEE!!
After walking around a little more looking at all the great displays, Ethan decided to show off the Rose Garden to Ernie the Bird, his favorite toy.
After all that walking Ethan couldn't hang anymore and fell asleep and Jason and I found ourselves feeling like midgets in the children's magic garden. There were 15 foot carrots, huge
spiders and ants, (so gross) a gigantic walk-in pumpkin and so much more! With that I'll leave you with Jason trying to help with the watering at the Gardens. (Remember, he's 6'5!)
Then we went into the water tunnel where Ethan went swimming with some crazy fish and almost got eaten!
Then we headed into the tunnel that is an aquarium all around you, the fish and eels (EWW!) were all around us! We couldn't get Ethan to stop looking at the fish long enough to even take a picture! He seemed to love it!
After we finished walking through the aquarium which Ethan stayed awake for the entire time (woot!) we went and had lunch at the Shark Cafe. A full wall in the restaurant was a huge aquarium, it was super relaxing!
(On the walk to the park)
Afterward it was time for Ethan to eat and I did something I've never done before, I nursed in public! I am a very private person so feeding Ethan in public was so hard for me to even think about doing. I have to admit, there were a few times I did try but Ethan completely flipped his lid and had a complete melt-down each time. He didn't like the Hooter-Hider over his head but the worst part was how I'd hold him. I didn't know how! I'm so used to using my Boppy pillow so he lays there perfectly, so trying to hold him up was exhausting for my arm, then wrestling with the Hooter-Hider trying to make sure no one can see anything, then 'aiming' Ethan... we both got way to frustrated! This time we were in a huge park and we went to a pritave place under a tree then I laid the diaper bag in my lap and him across the top of it, I also had Jason to help with blocking the view! It went beautifully!! Here are some park pictures!
Today was many first's for little E... aquarium, botanical gardens, wearing real shoes!! He wanted to show them off for everyone!!
Our baby just loves to have fun! WEE!!
After walking around a little more looking at all the great displays, Ethan decided to show off the Rose Garden to Ernie the Bird, his favorite toy.
After all that walking Ethan couldn't hang anymore and fell asleep and Jason and I found ourselves feeling like midgets in the children's magic garden. There were 15 foot carrots, huge
spiders and ants, (so gross) a gigantic walk-in pumpkin and so much more! With that I'll leave you with Jason trying to help with the watering at the Gardens. (Remember, he's 6'5!)
A picture is worth a thousand words.
Sick Baby
Poor baby Ethan was sick last night and there was nothing we could do for him. I nursed him around 8 then put him to bed. He fussed a few times so we got up and gave him his paci back thinking that is what he was wanting, looking back it must have been that his tummy was bothering him. Around 9 I went in to help him back to sleep when he looked up at me, turn his head and threw up 3 times over his shoulder, I was completely shocked as massive amounts of curdled milk came flying out is mouth and nose. When he finished I noticed he had filled his ear as well. I immediately pick him up out of the huge lake of puke that use to be his crib and he threw up again all down his sleep sack. Jason was in the shower but the monitor was on so I yelled into it that needed help, now! 5 seconds later Jason came running in dripping wet, covered in soap and naked. LOL I think I would have at least grabbed a towel! ;0) He took Ethan to the Pack-n-Play in our room to clean him up while I cleaned his bed. Then Jason starts yelling for me, Ethan is throwing up again, forceful and heaving. There is definitely something not right here! We decide to call the Dr. While waiting for a call back I try to take his temperature knowing that it is something that the Dr will want to know. So off goes the diaper, in goes the thermometer... Uhh... how far do you put it in? Does this stupid thing beep when its done? (Turns out its doesn't, stupid thing.) Am I doing this right? While in the middle of this Ethan starts heaving again so we abort the temperature taking, sit him up as he pukes down his tummy, all over his man parts and into his diaper. Sweet. This time there is no milk left, now its yellow bile coming out, better get that off quick, it might sting! I finally get what I think is a good temp and the Dr calls back, I tell her what happened and about the temp and asked if I did it right, nope! Turns out I need to put it in another inch! Sheesh! Poor kid! Though it did make a difference in his actual temperature.
I needed Pedialyte and to continue taking his temp and if got over 102 to just go to the hospital. I head to the store as Jason tried to put him to sleep per the Dr. When I get back Ethan is passed out with no more vomiting! Yay! He ended up sleeping till 7am when I woke him to give him the Pedialyte. (Dr said to not feed his as long as possible, then when he wakes to give Pedialyte then the feeding after that nurse him.) I of course didn't sleep because I was watching him to be sure to didn't throw up in his sleep and aspirate. I'm exhausted and Ethan is feeling better it seems, so all is great.
Crazy thing is through all this he really didn't seem to mind! When cleaning him up he cried because the wipes were cold but after that he was nothing but smiles until the next episode. He's such a trooper. Today he seems to be doing well though they say if it is going to happen again it would most likely be in the afternoon/evening so I'm keeping an eye on his temp and general demeanor. Right now he sleeping next to me in his little monkey shirt looking cute as can be! Say a little prayer that this bug is gone!
I needed Pedialyte and to continue taking his temp and if got over 102 to just go to the hospital. I head to the store as Jason tried to put him to sleep per the Dr. When I get back Ethan is passed out with no more vomiting! Yay! He ended up sleeping till 7am when I woke him to give him the Pedialyte. (Dr said to not feed his as long as possible, then when he wakes to give Pedialyte then the feeding after that nurse him.) I of course didn't sleep because I was watching him to be sure to didn't throw up in his sleep and aspirate. I'm exhausted and Ethan is feeling better it seems, so all is great.
Crazy thing is through all this he really didn't seem to mind! When cleaning him up he cried because the wipes were cold but after that he was nothing but smiles until the next episode. He's such a trooper. Today he seems to be doing well though they say if it is going to happen again it would most likely be in the afternoon/evening so I'm keeping an eye on his temp and general demeanor. Right now he sleeping next to me in his little monkey shirt looking cute as can be! Say a little prayer that this bug is gone!
"One should not stand at the foot of a sick person's bed, because that place is reserved for the guardian angel."
Application in, let the wait begin!
My Nursing School application is in! They say we should know if we are accepted within 4-6 weeks! This is so frustrating though! I should already be graduated with my degree, but here I am applying again. I was in nursing school with a year left in another town, then Jason got an amazing job offer and we had to move. I quit school and now have to start over since nursing credits don't transfer because each school is "different." Whatever. I'm frustrated. Oh well, can't go back. So here I sit waiting to see if I'm accepted to the program.
If I am accepted I will start in the spring. I'll have only a few months to get student loans, books, supplies and everything else not to mention the most important thing... childcare for Ethan! I'm really hoping that family will be able to do it, but we'll see. So that's where I am, but for now I'm enjoying staying home raising my son!
If I am accepted I will start in the spring. I'll have only a few months to get student loans, books, supplies and everything else not to mention the most important thing... childcare for Ethan! I'm really hoping that family will be able to do it, but we'll see. So that's where I am, but for now I'm enjoying staying home raising my son!
Education is not preparation for life; education is life itself.
John Dewey
John Dewey
My baby is sunburnt :0(
9/27/08
I went and helped my sister with her yard sale yesterday and I took Ethan. He was in the shade the ENTIRE time though somehow he still got a sunburn on his little face (he had a hat on the whole time too, so its just on his cheeks and nose)
Yesterday when I got home I noticed he was a little pink, then by his bath he was red. It doesn't seem to bother him at all though. This morning its not as red but his face, mostly under his eyes are swollen. Ive been trying to keep it moisturized with his lotion cause I dont know what else is safe. Also after he eats (I BF) I rub what he dribbles on his cheeks. (I hear BM is a cure-all, LOL) When I went in his room this morning to get him out of his crib, he looked totally different! It was so weird! Though he was happy as could be! He is now sitting next to me laughing, smiling and playing with his burp cloth. Thank God it doesn't seem to bother him.
I feel like SUCH an awful mother though, like I failed him. I took him, put him in long pants and socks, a hat with full brim and in his stroller with the cover out the whole time, and he was in the shade and somehow this still happened. I'm so glad he doesn't seem in pain, but still I feel SO guilty.
I went and helped my sister with her yard sale yesterday and I took Ethan. He was in the shade the ENTIRE time though somehow he still got a sunburn on his little face (he had a hat on the whole time too, so its just on his cheeks and nose)
Yesterday when I got home I noticed he was a little pink, then by his bath he was red. It doesn't seem to bother him at all though. This morning its not as red but his face, mostly under his eyes are swollen. Ive been trying to keep it moisturized with his lotion cause I dont know what else is safe. Also after he eats (I BF) I rub what he dribbles on his cheeks. (I hear BM is a cure-all, LOL) When I went in his room this morning to get him out of his crib, he looked totally different! It was so weird! Though he was happy as could be! He is now sitting next to me laughing, smiling and playing with his burp cloth. Thank God it doesn't seem to bother him.
I feel like SUCH an awful mother though, like I failed him. I took him, put him in long pants and socks, a hat with full brim and in his stroller with the cover out the whole time, and he was in the shade and somehow this still happened. I'm so glad he doesn't seem in pain, but still I feel SO guilty.
Mistakes are a part of being human. Appreciate your mistakes for what they are: precious life lessons that can only be learned the hard way.
He rolled over!
9/25/08
Ethan rolled over back to tummy this morning! Apparently the 'back to tummy' roll is harder than the 'tummy to back' though he didn't seem to have a problem! I went into the nursery to get his car seat because we're going to visit my sister, I put him in the middle of the bed (I knew this day was coming) and when I came back, 15 seconds later there he was, on his tummy! I walked in and he was holding his head up, monstrous stream of drool coming out of his mouth and when he saw me he started laughing like "Look mommy! Look what I did!" He was so proud and so am I!
Ethan rolled over back to tummy this morning! Apparently the 'back to tummy' roll is harder than the 'tummy to back' though he didn't seem to have a problem! I went into the nursery to get his car seat because we're going to visit my sister, I put him in the middle of the bed (I knew this day was coming) and when I came back, 15 seconds later there he was, on his tummy! I walked in and he was holding his head up, monstrous stream of drool coming out of his mouth and when he saw me he started laughing like "Look mommy! Look what I did!" He was so proud and so am I!
"A milestone passed, new things begun, dreams as shining as the sun, a goal achieved, a victory won!"
First night in his crib :0(
9/25/08
Night before last was Ethan's first night in his crib, first night as a "big boy," first night away from me. He handled it pretty well, woke up several times just wanting his pacifier back after he would repeatedly spit it out. I think it was a comfort thing because he was in a new place. The kid should be in the binky spitting Olympics, I swear! I always find it at least a foot away from him in any direction, how does he do that?! Anyway, since the crib is bigger than the bassinet (he outgrew the weight limit on it, or he'd still be in the room with us!) he discovered he loves to lay on his side and when on his side he likes to kick his legs which led to him spinning several circles in the crib throughout the night, yet another reason for the flying binky!
The transition was a so much harder on me than it was on him, at about 3:30AM (after getting up at least 15 times to re-plug him) I took a pillow and blanket and slept on the floor in the nursery. I know, I'm lame! Its just with the monitor he sounds different and I cant make out his 'whining in my sleep and will be done in a sec' and his 'if you dont give me my paci in the next 5 seconds there is going to be hell to pay' whine. Oh well, Im getting better! I slept in my own bed last night and he didnt get up till 5 after going to bed at 8! Woot! Go Ethan! Mom on the other hand still has some progress to make.
Night before last was Ethan's first night in his crib, first night as a "big boy," first night away from me. He handled it pretty well, woke up several times just wanting his pacifier back after he would repeatedly spit it out. I think it was a comfort thing because he was in a new place. The kid should be in the binky spitting Olympics, I swear! I always find it at least a foot away from him in any direction, how does he do that?! Anyway, since the crib is bigger than the bassinet (he outgrew the weight limit on it, or he'd still be in the room with us!) he discovered he loves to lay on his side and when on his side he likes to kick his legs which led to him spinning several circles in the crib throughout the night, yet another reason for the flying binky!
The transition was a so much harder on me than it was on him, at about 3:30AM (after getting up at least 15 times to re-plug him) I took a pillow and blanket and slept on the floor in the nursery. I know, I'm lame! Its just with the monitor he sounds different and I cant make out his 'whining in my sleep and will be done in a sec' and his 'if you dont give me my paci in the next 5 seconds there is going to be hell to pay' whine. Oh well, Im getting better! I slept in my own bed last night and he didnt get up till 5 after going to bed at 8! Woot! Go Ethan! Mom on the other hand still has some progress to make.
"Letting go is one of the hardest lessons in life."
My Birth Story
9/24/08
I'm C&P'ing my birth story for you here, I'm not going back through and editing it from its original debut. So excuse the typing errors and things that might not make sense! I was a few days PP and still very overwhelmed! Enjoy!
"There is nothing as miraculous as the birth of a baby."
May 8th – Today is my niece’s birthday, she’s turning 5, Happy Birthday Alex! Even though I’m super tired from no sleep and from contracting all night the night before I go to her birthday party at my sisters house only about 10 minutes away. About 6 pm the contractions start again. Great. I have to stop what I’m doing to breathe through most of them and sitting made them stronger so I stood the whole time killing my back and feet. Jason and I decided to leave to see if I could get some rest, everyone at the party was betting I’d have him that night and demanding we have sex to get him out quicker… yeah, RIGHT! Thanks for the advice but no thank you! We go home and go to bed, though again, I cant sleep. The contractions are again 4-5 minutes apart. I decide to again call the midwife. She’s says that though it sounds early we can come in and get checked to see what is going on since I’m unable to sleep. Jason and I get up and start getting ready. I start to notice that the contractions aren’t as strong standing and but decide to still go to the hospital.
1:45- We finally get out of the house! Suit cases, car seat, extra blankets, the whole nine yards gets packed into the car! While on the way the contractions still aren’t as strong as when I’m laying down and are starting to get a little further apart, crap. I still want to go to the hospital though because if this isn’t real labor then I want to know how the hell to know real labor and how to get rid of what I’m experiencing at the moment. The entire time I’m apologizing to Jason for getting him up for nothing and that I’m almost positive we are getting sent home because things are slowing down and not as intense. He was so understanding and said we just needed to know what was going on. I still felt horrible because if I wasn’t really in labor then he had to go to work at 7:00am with no sleep.
2:30- We finally get to the hospital and into triage, I’m convinced at this point we are wasting our time and getting sent home and continue apologizing to Jason to which he said if I apologize one most time he was going to thump me, I say sorry again, and then he really did it! He thumped me! The nurse gets me on the monitors, but my bump is so “out front” they have a hard time keeping them on and we kept losing the baby’s heart rate so they aren’t getting a real accurate reading of my contractions.
3:30- After being in that tiny uncomfortable room for an hour the midwife finally comes in to check me, I told her I was sorry if I was wasting her time, but I couldn’t handle another night of no sleep and contractions without know what was going on. She was so nice and said lets just take a look. 5cm 100% effaced! Holy crap! We’re staying! WE’RE HAVING A BABY! SOON! Then the thought crosses my mind, holy moly, this is real, I’m going to have to actually do this, I am soon to push a baby out of an abnormally small area. What were we thinking?! I now want to go back home, we’ll do this later. ;0)
4:00 Finally we got into our room and start to settle in. I sit in the bed cross-legged refusing to lay down because the contractions feel so awful in that position, laboring sitting up was the best position at that point, though again, didn’t help with keeping those dang annoying monitors on!
4:30- The blood lab people came in, took my blood then the nurse was in line to get my IV going. OMG. The IV was the absolute worst part! (Of the needle sticking at least!) That hurt like she was digging through my bone and I squealed through it because it was so unexpected. I held onto Jason burying my face into his arm and squeezed his hand and just whimpered, it seemed to take forever. Jason rubbed my head and comforted me which really seemed to help.
6:00- They asked me if I planned on having an epidural, I replied yes but the pain was still manageable so I didn’t need anything now. The nurse said we’d get the paperwork together for it so we didn’t have to mess with it once I was ready. See comes back in, explains one line then I see someone coming in with a cart behind her. It was the anesthesiologist, “Hi! I’m here for your epidural!” I didn’t even ask for it yet! “NOW?! We’re going to do this now!?” I told them I didn’t feel I needed it yet to which they told me there was only one person on the floor doing them, they had three c-sections scheduled and that the floor was packed, if I wanted it in any kind of timely manner, I’d get it now. I was convinced I needed to do it then, scared shitless, but going to do it.
Everything was okay until they said Jason couldn’t stay, to many dad’s pass out and they wouldn’t let him be in the room with me. “OMG, I cant do this, I can’t do this without him! I’m terrified of needles and he is my support, I NEED him!” To which they didn’t care. Jason left and I just started to tremble and tear up, they kept reassuring me that everything was going to be okay, that she would walk me through every step, etc. So we get started and I feel as if I’m going to vibrate off the bed and throw up at the same time. Let me tell you, the epidural really isn’t bad at all!! I was so surprised! I did jump once when the meds shot a shock down my right leg, but it wasn’t from the pain, it just scared me! So fear not! I am the biggest wuss EVER and ever I am saying, its not that bad!
The epidural is so strange! I don’t know what I was expecting but not that! You can still feel touch, which makes you think it is not working but you don’t feel the pain of the contractions. The sensation was just like when your leg falls asleep and is waking up, kind of a heavy pins and needles feeling. Trying to move was the weirdest sensation! I could move just a little but when trying to change position my legs felt like they were loaded down with lead, so strange!
Between now and 9 no one came in, I hadn’t been checked since triage so we were just hanging out. Jason called into work saying I was in labor and his 2 week leave started that day, yay! He just had to sign his time card on-line to get paid for the previous week. So he whips out the laptop and does his thing and that is when I decided to update the Nesties, you know, didn’t want anyone to worry! ;0)
9:30- The midwife comes in and checks me, I’m 6 cm, we decide to break my water and I immediately progress to 7cm! After this I try to get some rest since I haven’t slept in two days. Though Im not feeling any pain, the way to I have to sit (tilted) isn’t very comfortable and I’m hooked up to every imaginable contraption, wires going everywhere and a blood pressure cuff that goes off about every 5 minutes, so sleep was out. But at least I got to rest a little without pain. (The blood pressure cuff was so annoying because it had to go off every 5 minutes!)
11:30- Checked again, 9.5cm, +1 station, with just a lip of cervix left. YAY! We decided to wait a bit and labor down for the lip to go away and for the baby to descend a little more.
1:00- Started pushing. Holy crap this is hard work! I cant hold my breath in, I cant keep a good ten count, I’m just soo tired and Ethan was still a little high. We did this for about 20 minutes and thought it might be a better idea to labor down some more and just take a break. Thank goodness!!! During this time I developed a “hot spot” a spot where the epidural wasn’t working. It was a spot about 3 inches or so in diameter at the top of my left butt check, I could feel the contractions there, and with the pain being so localized and one sided I was in a fair amount of pain.
2:30- I started pushing again, yep, still hard! They kept wanting me to push for 10 seconds, I swear they are counting slow on purpose! I cannot push for that amount of time because I feel as if my face is going to explode. More specifically that my forehead was going to blow up every time I pushed. Jason held a cold cloth to my forehead every time I bared down. I could tell that he was having a hard time not being able to do anything for me, so he just held my hand and told me I was doing great though I know it was tearing him up to feel so helpless. The pain in my “hot spot” when pushing was something else! It was so weird (for lack of a better word) to have that kind of pain just in that small area, then still some real pain going on in my crotch, which I was feeling more than just pressure in.
We continued this process without much progress. The midwife suggested I try the squat bar if I felt I had enough control over my legs, I did. When up on the bar it seemed like gravity was helping out a bit, I pushed in this position for a few contractions and got him down a little more. Then the midwife wanted me to lie back down because I was starting to shake to much and she thought at that point laying down would be more effective. Dang it! This change in position of the baby resulted in losing the ‘hot spot’ on my butt-check (yay!) and gaining another one on my right side at my gluteal fold (the spot where your butt-check meets your thigh) Boo!! It was complete from one side to the other and painful! It was rather distracting when you have contractions and full pain there, then you feel pain and pressure in your crotch and nothing in the other side, I felt so lope-sided and sometimes didn’t push as effectively as I could have because of it.
They asked me I wanted to touch the head, took my hand and I felt what seemed like a hard slimy rubber ball, whoa, that was weird! Let’s get him out! Now! I pushed for probably another half hour or so, and then he was “right there” and needed just a “few more pushes” I thought I was going to die. At this point the pain was crazy (for having an epi) and I kept telling Jason I couldn’t do this, I was to tired and I just couldn’t do it. I was getting so frustrated and just started crying.
4:05- Though it wasn’t s a “few pushes later” Ethan was finally born!! His head coming out scared me because I could hear it, and the shoulders were the worst! But he was here! They threw is cheesy little butt up on my chest and it was love at first sight. Oh my goodness, he looks so much like his daddy! I’m sobbing and staring then I hear Jason behind me, crying as well, aww. After the cord stopped pulsing, Jason cut it, which was a lot tougher than he thought it was going to be, I guess he thought it would be more sponge-like then it actually was. They took him to get cleaned up and Jason went with him and never left his side (not before kissing me though!), then the real fun for me began!
The stuff no one talks about! - Delivery of the placenta, um, ouch. They said this isn’t going to be as bad because there aren’t any bones, lol, okay. That thing was huge! They plopped it in a bucket and set it aside for us to ‘look at later.’ (Very interesting/gross by the way!) I had a first-degree tear but in such a weird spot apparently that she had a hard time fixing it properly. After the epi was turned off (wah!) and after the surge of emotions from the birth I was shaking so badly I thought I would fall off the table, then I had the midwife coming at me with a needle… holy crap, she’s going to miss because I cant freaking sit still! I kept apologizing for shaking, but I couldn’t control it. Sewing up the tear took forever, then I surprised the nurses and midwife with how much swelling I had, so much so in fact that they inserted another catheter because I would not be able to pee due to its severity, which apparently isn’t very common. Yay me. Finally after about 20 minutes of ‘after care’ aka, people still poking and prodding at my down stairs, we were finally left alone.
When we were taken up stairs to recovery we had family come in and everyone just fell in love immediately! He was so alert! He looked at everyone and didn’t cry (he still rarely cries!) It is so wonderful to be a family!
I didn’t get up for about 15 hours due to the catheter, I didn’t really have to because it was doing all the work for me. Well I decided I wanted to go to the bathroom to assess the situation, it hurt… like crazy, so I wanted to see what it looked like. BAD idea! So I got Jason to grab my cath bag and I hobbled oh so slowly to the bathroom, I walked as if my legs were glued together until my knees! I’m sure I looked like a fool! (This I kept up for about three days after as well, because every time I got up I thought my insides were going to fall out) I get inside, pull down my mesh undies with the pad the size of a airport runway (around the damn catheter tube) and OH MY GOODNESS. It looked as if someone had replaced my vagina with triple stuffed Twinkies, one side still larger than the other. I was horrified, no wonder I couldn’t sit! At that point I was so exhausted, still hadn’t slept and then another surprise, I released buckets of blood on the floor just standing there, but I couldn’t bend over to clean it up. Enter Jason, poor guy! Through the next three days (how long I was in the hospital) this was a common occurrence; get up, hobble to the bathroom, stand there and catch my breath because the walk across the room was excruciating and exhausting, use restroom (cath out by now), rest again, put in new runway pad, clean up as much as possible, spray Dermoplast, rest, go back to bed, have Jason help me in and find a way to sit because I couldn’t sit straight, it was like trying to sit on a titter-totter that shoots lightning into your crotch. Not pleasant!
Then it was time to go home, our lives were forever changed, we were a family. I fell in love with Jason all over again, he did everything for me and for Ethan, he was my savoir and he was now the father to our son, what a beautiful sight. I couldn’t wait to get home and for life begin, and what a wonderful life it is!
I'm C&P'ing my birth story for you here, I'm not going back through and editing it from its original debut. So excuse the typing errors and things that might not make sense! I was a few days PP and still very overwhelmed! Enjoy!
"There is nothing as miraculous as the birth of a baby."
May 7th – Contractions started about 10 pm, around 12 I start timing them because the pain is getting worse and they seem to be coming semi close together, they are 5-6 minutes apart lasting a minute or more each (by the way I really recommend contractionmaster.com, no need to do math or use your brain at all, fabulous!) I continued to time until around 4 am then decided to call my midwife. I tell her everything that is going on, she said it sounded like early labor but I should try to wait to come in till they are more consistently 5 minutes apart, (not 5 to 5 and half like they were) she asked if I had gotten any sleep that night, which I hadn’t. She recommended taking some Tylenol PM and trying to get some sleep since labor was probably soon. I do so but it doesn’t touch the contraction pain (which was manageable but I just couldn’t sleep though them because I needed to concentrate on breathing through most of them) From 4am to about 8 the contractions are coming in about 4-5 minutes about. I finally find a position in bed that dulls the contraction pain and I fell asleep for about 45 minutes, woke up and damn it!! The contractions had fizzled out! Damn, damn, damn!! If that wasn’t real labor contractions I’m screwed!
May 8th – Today is my niece’s birthday, she’s turning 5, Happy Birthday Alex! Even though I’m super tired from no sleep and from contracting all night the night before I go to her birthday party at my sisters house only about 10 minutes away. About 6 pm the contractions start again. Great. I have to stop what I’m doing to breathe through most of them and sitting made them stronger so I stood the whole time killing my back and feet. Jason and I decided to leave to see if I could get some rest, everyone at the party was betting I’d have him that night and demanding we have sex to get him out quicker… yeah, RIGHT! Thanks for the advice but no thank you! We go home and go to bed, though again, I cant sleep. The contractions are again 4-5 minutes apart. I decide to again call the midwife. She’s says that though it sounds early we can come in and get checked to see what is going on since I’m unable to sleep. Jason and I get up and start getting ready. I start to notice that the contractions aren’t as strong standing and but decide to still go to the hospital.
1:45- We finally get out of the house! Suit cases, car seat, extra blankets, the whole nine yards gets packed into the car! While on the way the contractions still aren’t as strong as when I’m laying down and are starting to get a little further apart, crap. I still want to go to the hospital though because if this isn’t real labor then I want to know how the hell to know real labor and how to get rid of what I’m experiencing at the moment. The entire time I’m apologizing to Jason for getting him up for nothing and that I’m almost positive we are getting sent home because things are slowing down and not as intense. He was so understanding and said we just needed to know what was going on. I still felt horrible because if I wasn’t really in labor then he had to go to work at 7:00am with no sleep.
2:30- We finally get to the hospital and into triage, I’m convinced at this point we are wasting our time and getting sent home and continue apologizing to Jason to which he said if I apologize one most time he was going to thump me, I say sorry again, and then he really did it! He thumped me! The nurse gets me on the monitors, but my bump is so “out front” they have a hard time keeping them on and we kept losing the baby’s heart rate so they aren’t getting a real accurate reading of my contractions.
3:30- After being in that tiny uncomfortable room for an hour the midwife finally comes in to check me, I told her I was sorry if I was wasting her time, but I couldn’t handle another night of no sleep and contractions without know what was going on. She was so nice and said lets just take a look. 5cm 100% effaced! Holy crap! We’re staying! WE’RE HAVING A BABY! SOON! Then the thought crosses my mind, holy moly, this is real, I’m going to have to actually do this, I am soon to push a baby out of an abnormally small area. What were we thinking?! I now want to go back home, we’ll do this later. ;0)
4:00 Finally we got into our room and start to settle in. I sit in the bed cross-legged refusing to lay down because the contractions feel so awful in that position, laboring sitting up was the best position at that point, though again, didn’t help with keeping those dang annoying monitors on!
4:30- The blood lab people came in, took my blood then the nurse was in line to get my IV going. OMG. The IV was the absolute worst part! (Of the needle sticking at least!) That hurt like she was digging through my bone and I squealed through it because it was so unexpected. I held onto Jason burying my face into his arm and squeezed his hand and just whimpered, it seemed to take forever. Jason rubbed my head and comforted me which really seemed to help.
6:00- They asked me if I planned on having an epidural, I replied yes but the pain was still manageable so I didn’t need anything now. The nurse said we’d get the paperwork together for it so we didn’t have to mess with it once I was ready. See comes back in, explains one line then I see someone coming in with a cart behind her. It was the anesthesiologist, “Hi! I’m here for your epidural!” I didn’t even ask for it yet! “NOW?! We’re going to do this now!?” I told them I didn’t feel I needed it yet to which they told me there was only one person on the floor doing them, they had three c-sections scheduled and that the floor was packed, if I wanted it in any kind of timely manner, I’d get it now. I was convinced I needed to do it then, scared shitless, but going to do it.
Everything was okay until they said Jason couldn’t stay, to many dad’s pass out and they wouldn’t let him be in the room with me. “OMG, I cant do this, I can’t do this without him! I’m terrified of needles and he is my support, I NEED him!” To which they didn’t care. Jason left and I just started to tremble and tear up, they kept reassuring me that everything was going to be okay, that she would walk me through every step, etc. So we get started and I feel as if I’m going to vibrate off the bed and throw up at the same time. Let me tell you, the epidural really isn’t bad at all!! I was so surprised! I did jump once when the meds shot a shock down my right leg, but it wasn’t from the pain, it just scared me! So fear not! I am the biggest wuss EVER and ever I am saying, its not that bad!
The epidural is so strange! I don’t know what I was expecting but not that! You can still feel touch, which makes you think it is not working but you don’t feel the pain of the contractions. The sensation was just like when your leg falls asleep and is waking up, kind of a heavy pins and needles feeling. Trying to move was the weirdest sensation! I could move just a little but when trying to change position my legs felt like they were loaded down with lead, so strange!
Between now and 9 no one came in, I hadn’t been checked since triage so we were just hanging out. Jason called into work saying I was in labor and his 2 week leave started that day, yay! He just had to sign his time card on-line to get paid for the previous week. So he whips out the laptop and does his thing and that is when I decided to update the Nesties, you know, didn’t want anyone to worry! ;0)
9:30- The midwife comes in and checks me, I’m 6 cm, we decide to break my water and I immediately progress to 7cm! After this I try to get some rest since I haven’t slept in two days. Though Im not feeling any pain, the way to I have to sit (tilted) isn’t very comfortable and I’m hooked up to every imaginable contraption, wires going everywhere and a blood pressure cuff that goes off about every 5 minutes, so sleep was out. But at least I got to rest a little without pain. (The blood pressure cuff was so annoying because it had to go off every 5 minutes!)
11:30- Checked again, 9.5cm, +1 station, with just a lip of cervix left. YAY! We decided to wait a bit and labor down for the lip to go away and for the baby to descend a little more.
1:00- Started pushing. Holy crap this is hard work! I cant hold my breath in, I cant keep a good ten count, I’m just soo tired and Ethan was still a little high. We did this for about 20 minutes and thought it might be a better idea to labor down some more and just take a break. Thank goodness!!! During this time I developed a “hot spot” a spot where the epidural wasn’t working. It was a spot about 3 inches or so in diameter at the top of my left butt check, I could feel the contractions there, and with the pain being so localized and one sided I was in a fair amount of pain.
2:30- I started pushing again, yep, still hard! They kept wanting me to push for 10 seconds, I swear they are counting slow on purpose! I cannot push for that amount of time because I feel as if my face is going to explode. More specifically that my forehead was going to blow up every time I pushed. Jason held a cold cloth to my forehead every time I bared down. I could tell that he was having a hard time not being able to do anything for me, so he just held my hand and told me I was doing great though I know it was tearing him up to feel so helpless. The pain in my “hot spot” when pushing was something else! It was so weird (for lack of a better word) to have that kind of pain just in that small area, then still some real pain going on in my crotch, which I was feeling more than just pressure in.
We continued this process without much progress. The midwife suggested I try the squat bar if I felt I had enough control over my legs, I did. When up on the bar it seemed like gravity was helping out a bit, I pushed in this position for a few contractions and got him down a little more. Then the midwife wanted me to lie back down because I was starting to shake to much and she thought at that point laying down would be more effective. Dang it! This change in position of the baby resulted in losing the ‘hot spot’ on my butt-check (yay!) and gaining another one on my right side at my gluteal fold (the spot where your butt-check meets your thigh) Boo!! It was complete from one side to the other and painful! It was rather distracting when you have contractions and full pain there, then you feel pain and pressure in your crotch and nothing in the other side, I felt so lope-sided and sometimes didn’t push as effectively as I could have because of it.
They asked me I wanted to touch the head, took my hand and I felt what seemed like a hard slimy rubber ball, whoa, that was weird! Let’s get him out! Now! I pushed for probably another half hour or so, and then he was “right there” and needed just a “few more pushes” I thought I was going to die. At this point the pain was crazy (for having an epi) and I kept telling Jason I couldn’t do this, I was to tired and I just couldn’t do it. I was getting so frustrated and just started crying.
4:05- Though it wasn’t s a “few pushes later” Ethan was finally born!! His head coming out scared me because I could hear it, and the shoulders were the worst! But he was here! They threw is cheesy little butt up on my chest and it was love at first sight. Oh my goodness, he looks so much like his daddy! I’m sobbing and staring then I hear Jason behind me, crying as well, aww. After the cord stopped pulsing, Jason cut it, which was a lot tougher than he thought it was going to be, I guess he thought it would be more sponge-like then it actually was. They took him to get cleaned up and Jason went with him and never left his side (not before kissing me though!), then the real fun for me began!
The stuff no one talks about! - Delivery of the placenta, um, ouch. They said this isn’t going to be as bad because there aren’t any bones, lol, okay. That thing was huge! They plopped it in a bucket and set it aside for us to ‘look at later.’ (Very interesting/gross by the way!) I had a first-degree tear but in such a weird spot apparently that she had a hard time fixing it properly. After the epi was turned off (wah!) and after the surge of emotions from the birth I was shaking so badly I thought I would fall off the table, then I had the midwife coming at me with a needle… holy crap, she’s going to miss because I cant freaking sit still! I kept apologizing for shaking, but I couldn’t control it. Sewing up the tear took forever, then I surprised the nurses and midwife with how much swelling I had, so much so in fact that they inserted another catheter because I would not be able to pee due to its severity, which apparently isn’t very common. Yay me. Finally after about 20 minutes of ‘after care’ aka, people still poking and prodding at my down stairs, we were finally left alone.
When we were taken up stairs to recovery we had family come in and everyone just fell in love immediately! He was so alert! He looked at everyone and didn’t cry (he still rarely cries!) It is so wonderful to be a family!
I didn’t get up for about 15 hours due to the catheter, I didn’t really have to because it was doing all the work for me. Well I decided I wanted to go to the bathroom to assess the situation, it hurt… like crazy, so I wanted to see what it looked like. BAD idea! So I got Jason to grab my cath bag and I hobbled oh so slowly to the bathroom, I walked as if my legs were glued together until my knees! I’m sure I looked like a fool! (This I kept up for about three days after as well, because every time I got up I thought my insides were going to fall out) I get inside, pull down my mesh undies with the pad the size of a airport runway (around the damn catheter tube) and OH MY GOODNESS. It looked as if someone had replaced my vagina with triple stuffed Twinkies, one side still larger than the other. I was horrified, no wonder I couldn’t sit! At that point I was so exhausted, still hadn’t slept and then another surprise, I released buckets of blood on the floor just standing there, but I couldn’t bend over to clean it up. Enter Jason, poor guy! Through the next three days (how long I was in the hospital) this was a common occurrence; get up, hobble to the bathroom, stand there and catch my breath because the walk across the room was excruciating and exhausting, use restroom (cath out by now), rest again, put in new runway pad, clean up as much as possible, spray Dermoplast, rest, go back to bed, have Jason help me in and find a way to sit because I couldn’t sit straight, it was like trying to sit on a titter-totter that shoots lightning into your crotch. Not pleasant!
Then it was time to go home, our lives were forever changed, we were a family. I fell in love with Jason all over again, he did everything for me and for Ethan, he was my savoir and he was now the father to our son, what a beautiful sight. I couldn’t wait to get home and for life begin, and what a wonderful life it is!
One year blogging break...
9/24/08
I'm back! I have no idea why I stopped and wish so much that I didn't! I would love to read back about the little things that happened during my pregnancy and Ethan's first few months, but I dropped off the face of the blogging planet for no apparent reason! Oh well, can't do anything about it now.
I'll try to write a few catch up posts then it'll be smooth sailing from there! Stay tuned!
I'm back! I have no idea why I stopped and wish so much that I didn't! I would love to read back about the little things that happened during my pregnancy and Ethan's first few months, but I dropped off the face of the blogging planet for no apparent reason! Oh well, can't do anything about it now.
I'll try to write a few catch up posts then it'll be smooth sailing from there! Stay tuned!
Lost time is never found again.
Benjamin Franklin
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